After the Lord of the Abyss Awakens - Chapter 142.1

In the pure white dream realm.

Xiu Si sat quietly waiting, while organizing his power levels. Since breaking through level 90, he had unlocked a series of skills, such as [Absolute Defense] and [Absolute Evasion].

He was very familiar with these skills, because they were all ones he had designed for his cubs.

He could feel this wasn’t just due to his leveling up, but also because—the system reboot had begun.

Since his resurrection, the previously stagnant system was gradually returning to normal, replacing old with new, with information inside constantly changing.

Though his heart was full of curiosity, he also knew deeply that such a system update would inevitably need some time to complete.

“Need to wait.”

He wasn’t as urgent as before, because he already knew the cubs were all safe and sound, and the day of the family reunion was just around the corner, only a matter of time.

They had things to do outside, and would return home once those were resolved.

However, perhaps from sitting for too long, he couldn’t help letting his mind wander.

He recalled that “Door of Memory” he had seen earlier in his dream.

He hadn’t told anyone about that incident, because he felt it couldn’t be spoken of, that it was a “secret.”

As for whose secret it was, he didn’t know either, but since it was in his dream, it should be his secret. But did he have any secrets he couldn’t tell others?

Xiu Si shook his head, back when he created his second cub, the cub had told him that They could see most of his memories.

In this sense, he had no secrets from his cubs. At the time he hadn’t felt anything about it, because his second cub certainly wouldn’t casually look at his memories and tell him about them, telling him was a reminder. He had even joked with Them, saying they could look at his memories freely, father had no secrets from Them.

But this “Door of Memory’s” existence, probably even the cubs didn’t know about it.

It had an ordinary shape, like a wooden door you might see anywhere, even somewhat worn, with a doorknob that might break if pulled. And yet this very door lay hidden in the depths of his memory, seeming to have existed for a very long time, at least hundreds of years, perhaps tens of thousands of years, or even more ancient.

Xiu Si was shocked by his own thoughts, because “tens of thousands of years” was truly not a normal human way of measuring time.

“Have I gradually lost my normal sense of time from staying in the dream too long?”

Xiu Si was confused, then thought it had an effect, but wasn’t the root cause.

He shook his head to turn the page, and continued looking at the worn narrow door.

He felt that behind the door might be some past life memories or something similar. Given how strange the otherworld was already, having a setting like a past life wouldn’t be that out of place, right? It probably wouldn’t count as a plot twist.

So……

Xiu Si slowly stood up in his consciousness space, a look of contemplation flashing in his eyes. After a moment, he decisively stepped forward, his figure flashing through the void, finally appearing before that narrow door.

He observed it, closed his eyes to sense it, but gained nothing, indicating that only opening it would reveal what was inside. Just standing before the door, no matter how long he thought, would be useless.

But should he open it?

Assuming memories of a past life were behind it, after opening it, he would know his past life. But did he really need to know?

“Whether or not to open this door…… probably doesn’t matter much.”

Xiu Si lowered his eyes, as if deep in thought.

He wasn’t someone who eagerly sought to break the status quo.

Back on Blue Star, although colleagues frequently changed jobs, some pursuing higher salaries, others unable to bear the pressure, he had always stayed with his original company. This wasn’t because other companies hadn’t extended olive branches to him, nor because the original company’s benefits were particularly enticing with annual raises, but simply because of his personality.

Around him, there were often such voices: a person unwilling to advance, no matter how good their personality, was destined to be cannon fodder in the concrete jungle.

He somewhat agreed with these viewpoints.

Therefore, he would also go with the flow, reflecting on himself for a while, but ultimately chose to stay in place, as if drawing a circle around himself.

It wasn’t that he refused change, he just didn’t have enough energy to adapt to completely new environments.

Of course, in his friends’ eyes, rather than lacking energy, it might be more accurate to say he lacked “courage.”

Many people knew what was right, but knowing didn’t equate to being able to do it. Sometimes it was better not to know these “right” things, so one wouldn’t become confused and troubled by wasted years.

Looking back, it was very contradictory. He would actively and diligently learn new knowledge, improve the aesthetics needed for his profession, theoretically he should have been someone who actively embraced change, yet, once faced with a completely unfamiliar environment, he would become hesitant and indecisive.

Was there any fundamental difference between these things? It was hard to distinguish, wasn’t it?

Xiu Si suddenly realized that he had actually lived quite chaotically in the past.

Not to the point of being muddled, “chaotic” was just right.

Perhaps people don’t necessarily need a clearly defined self? Although the latter might live more transparently and freely, Xiu Si himself had never experienced such a life, so he couldn’t make arbitrary judgments. Any judgment without personal experience might be narrow-minded, only those who had truly experienced that kind of life would know the real feeling.

Xiu Si pondered for a moment, feeling his thoughts becoming clearer as he analyzed them. He discovered that the real reason he didn’t want to open that narrow door was that he was unwilling to face an unfamiliar version of himself.

Weren’t past life memories just memories of an unfamiliar self?

He feared that after accepting these memories, he would undergo unpredictable changes, and thus hesitated.

After a long silence.

“I’m really overthinking things, people don’t just change suddenly.”

Xiu Si shook his head, trying to suppress his scattered thoughts, but the more he suppressed them, the more active they became.

Even the door seemed to sense some kind of irrepressible force, stirring restlessly, about to open on its own.

“What?” Xiu Si stood up in shock. This was his inner world, yet at this moment it seemed to break free from his control. This strange feeling only occurred in dreams before.

But it seemed to have another cause.

“Could it be that because it sensed I wouldn’t actively push open that door, it’s set up like an alarm clock, automatically opening at a set time?”

Xiu Si paused, feeling he had discovered the truth. If that was the case, the only one who could have set the “alarm” was himself.

In other words, was this the moment to “wake up”?

Xiu Si took a deep breath, a feeling he couldn’t describe welling up in his heart.

Making an already awake person wake up—had an indescribable strangeness to it.

However, the “alarm clock’s” ring grew more urgent, the door’s presence became exceptionally strong, almost face-to-face with Xiu Si, making it impossible for him to ignore its existence.

In the end, it still had to be opened. Xiu Si stared at the slightly trembling door crack, and just as he was about to reach out to push it open, his cubs’ figures suddenly flashed before his eyes, making him think again about whether opening this door would be good or bad for them. The answer remained unknown.

He couldn’t hesitate anymore. He thought to himself, as a hero, this was the moment to show “courage.”

Hopefully…… opening it would turn out to be a good thing.

He finally pushed open the door with both hands, and as he expected, behind it was a long and dusty memory.

Without beginning, without end, perhaps as long as the universe had existed, it was that long.

Xiu Si saw “memories” for the first time, and also saw such long memories for the first time, endless like a river of light without end. The human brain could never bear these memories. Just the vast amount of information carried by the “tens of thousands of years” scale far exceeded the human brain’s processing capacity, reaching the limit of overload.

Xiu Si witnessed such a scene for the first time, those memories surging like a river, spreading out to form a vast and boundless river of memories. The entire scene was incredibly shocking.

As soon as the door opened, those memories rushed out like a flood beast, instantly submerging Xiu Si’s entire consciousness space, forming a deep and endless sea. The sea level rose at an alarming rate, as if it would devour everything.

Faced with such an enormous amount of memories, Xiu Si felt helpless. He tried to find a starting point to digest them, but everything before his eyes seemed chaotic, leaving him not knowing where to begin.

“Are all my past life memories…… here?” Xiu Si muttered to himself, feeling like he was standing on a floating island, which could be submerged by his own memories at any moment as the sea level continued to rise.

This feeling really had an indescribable strangeness to it.

Xiu Si was confused for a while, but quickly accepted it. Then, Xiu Si walked to the edge of the island, took a deep breath, crouched down, and mustered the courage to scoop water with both hands. The moment his hands touched the water surface, the vast memories flooded into his mind like a tide, leaving him instantly stunned, his face full of shock.

At the same time, his system reboot proceeded steadily, congratulatory level-up sounds constantly echoing in his mind. His level shot up from 91 to 99 seemingly in an instant, and the Creator profession compatibility even jumped to 99%.

The level advancement timely strengthened his body and consciousness, allowing him to successfully withstand this surging flood of memories.

These memories were full of countless visual and auditory information, as if countless people were speaking simultaneously in his ears, their voices chaotic and noisy. However, what caught him more off guard was the impact of those emotions.

These emotions might not seem particularly intense when viewed individually, but each emotion was accumulated over years and years, like fully fermented wine, each cup intoxicating.

Xiu Si didn’t know how much time he spent digesting these memories. He had always lacked awareness of time’s passage, and once there were no reference points or periodic events to remind him, he easily became absorbed in something and couldn’t pull himself out, even forgetting the existence of time.

In the past, he had missed many important things because of this. Though knowing it was a bad habit, he couldn’t correct it, always needing Them to remind him before he could extract himself from the immersive world and realize how much time had passed.

—Yes, this time too.

Xiu Si paused, as if finally finding the beginning of everything.

He had discovered a serious flaw in his children that couldn’t be ignored, it had to be fixed, otherwise They would suffer greatly.

He had worried about this for a long time, but the Creator was not omnipotent, he himself was also feeling his way forward, constantly creating something from nothing based on intuition and experience.

Yes, creating something from nothing, this was where his divinity lay. But in that world where everything was barren, even concepts like “method” and “path” were [miracles] painfully born from thought.

Regardless, he couldn’t leave it unattended.

So he left, to find a way to fix that flaw, and then while searching…… arrived at the present.

He had been searching continuously, never stopping, going to many places in between, trying many methods, getting lost at one point, almost forgetting who he was.

But even now, it seemed there was still no way to fix that flaw.

He didn’t even know where to start fixing. There had been many ideas, but none were solutions.

Therefore, he could only fall into self-blame.

—Not being able to create Them perfectly, without flaws, was his responsibility, his fault.

Thinking of this, Xiu Si’s whole body trembled, his expression becoming heavy.

His “past life memories” were very long, and after organizing them, he finally successfully sorted out a line, with cause, process, and result all within. He observed his memories like an outsider until everything became clear, and he finally realized—that he was actually the Creator God.

The creator of this universe, the parent of countless children. The children’s children, however, preferred to call him the Creator.

After recognizing this fact, his system’s profession compatibility instantly became 100%.

Xiu Si was shocked by himself, feeling both a sense of “as expected” and partly feeling it wasn’t real, as if divinity and humanity were engaged in an intense struggle.

He was dazed for a while, taking a long time to sort out his feelings. This kind of thing would shock anyone for a long time if it happened to them.

Xiu Si was somewhat confused, and muttered to himself, “But speaking of which, how did I become human?”

This matter was definitely a long story. He raised his head, looking at the endless sea, couldn’t help but fall silent. Who had ever found remembering the past as difficult as searching for a needle in the sea? He did.

“The difficulty is extraordinary.”

He searched for a while, almost running out of patience, finally found the “reason.”

“So it was because I got curious accidentally.”

This reason was somewhat ridiculous, but strangely matched his personality.

He thought that experiencing life in a state without memories might lead to sudden inspiration, thinking of an unprecedented method.

After all, for him, human life was at most a hundred years, just the blink of an eye, nothing not worth trying.

Any method was worth trying.

Xiu Si nodded, continuing, “Then…… why did I transmigrate?”

Questions surfaced one by one, he had to slowly remember, slowly answer.

“Seems it was because I accidentally got involved in the summoning magic.”

He frowned.

Wait, accidentally?

Among so many people on Blue Star, the accident happened to him?

Xiu Si shook his head.

It probably wasn’t that simple. There must have been a will within that magic. That will, whether out of good intentions or malice, had definitely chosen him deliberately.

Xiu Si believed it was probably good intentions, although after transmigrating, his life during that period couldn’t be called good.

Reaching this point in his memories, he gradually began to feel strain. The human body was ultimately limited, although Agares had strengthened his body in time, but a human brain still couldn’t digest a deity’s memories.

He needed to change bodies. But having used a human body for so long, he actually found himself reluctant to part with it.

Bodies were like clothes, there was a matter of comfort. Limited was more comfortable than unlimited, just like having clothes was more comfortable than having none.

Xiu Si couldn’t help but hesitate for a moment.

And it wasn’t until this moment that he suddenly remembered something.

Yes, Agares, his second cub was waiting for him outside!

Xiu Si quickly tidied up his memories. To strengthen his sense of time, he created a huge clock in his consciousness space.

Bad habits must be corrected. He strictly emphasized to himself, closed his eyes, then opened them again, the person woke up, and the scene before him returned to the dream.

Xiu Si lowered his eyes slightly, just meeting the snow leopard’s gaze before him.

The snow leopard seemed very worried about him, Its usually calm eyes showing slight ripples.

“Don’t worry, Father is fine.”

Xiu Si immediately answered, while thinking in his heart about how he should explain his situation to his second cub, but then thought about how his second cub was omniscient—

His expression changed, and he couldn’t help asking, “Did you already know?”

The snow leopard nodded.

Xiu Si was shocked, and instinctively asked, “When did you know?”

The snow leopard made no speaking motion, but Its gentle voice came from all directions.

“From the beginning, from birth.”

Xiu Si was even more shocked, for a moment not knowing what to say. His own second cub had known his identity from birth, logically speaking, in that human state, apart from primordial gods, no one should have been able to recognize him, right?

Although it was an ability he had set up himself, he ended up being shocked by it too.