For Some Reason The Girl Who's Too Popular Only Drinks with Me - Volume 1 Chapter 6.0

Memories Soaked in Alcohol – Part Three

Why doesn’t he cry? Watching him breathe out in pain, I feel like I’m the one about to cry.

He’s too kind, and perhaps, that’s why he can’t forgive his own weaknesses.

So he doesn’t cry. So he can’t cry. He just keeps all the suffering inside, waiting for it to disappear.

But I wonder, won’t he eventually become so overwhelmed by the accumulated pain that he’ll collapse? Watching him talk about his deeply hurtful past as if it’s nothing, I feel like crying all over again.

I wish he would smile more. Not that resigned face that seems to have given up on everything, but a happier face, like when he’s with the seniors. I guess I feel this way because I like him.

But he’ll probably reject my feelings, preparing various words to build a wall in front of me.

Not a door or anything like that, but a real wall. A solid wall that can’t be opened from either inside or outside.

With my current self, I can’t break or overcome that wall.

Sugino-senpai forcefully shattered that wall to get inside.

Mikami-senpai, before he knew it, had smoothly slipped inside.

I don’t have such strength. So I need to change. Not by someone else changing me, but by my own will—

“That’s what I thought, but… what to make of this?”

On Christmas day, amidst the hustle and bustle, I murmured to myself.

Perhaps my friend heard me because the person sitting next to me asked, “Hm? What’s up, Mai?” Just as I was about to drink, I stopped and smiled, saying, “It’s nothing.”

I was invited to a Christmas drinking party by several friends. I heard it was supposed to be a small gathering of about six people, but when I arrived at the meeting place, there were more than twenty people.

To my left sat a girl friend of mine, and guys kept taking turns talking to me from the opposite seats.

This too is necessary for change. Getting along with everyone. I convinced myself as I gulped down the drink.

“Mai-chan, aren’t you drinking too fast? You’re pretty strong, huh?”

I just finished my second beer when the guy in front of me leaned in closer.

Strong? I’ve only had two beers. In the Sake Friends Circle, two mugs of beer are basically just greetings.

Of course, there’s no point in saying that here, so I just laughed lightly and replied in a high voice, “Not at all~”

“I like alcohol, but I’m not that strong, so my pace might slow down from here.”

“Oh, come on~ Don’t be shy, drink up!”

“Okay, I’ll do my best~”

I responded casually while picking at the salad that was hardly touched. Then, without ordering it, another beer was brought to me.

“Mai-chan, you can still go on, right? Let’s drink it up.”

“Uh, well, okay.”

“Hey, don’t pressure her, Mai-chan looks troubled.”

“Huh? No, not really…”

“Don’t worry, Mai-chan. I’ll take care of this one.”

“That’s the spirit! Down it in one go!”

“Alright! Chug! Chug!”

What’s with this? Unable to keep up with the boys’ unique rhythm, the beer placed in front of me was soon consumed by a stranger, vanishing in a flash.

It’s been like this the whole time. Just as one guy starts making a move, another one cuts in noisily.

“…This is boring.”

I sulk inwardly while drinking the lemon sour I was given as a substitute.

There’s nothing stimulating about the conversations. No one here is particularly charming.

Maybe I shouldn’t have come out after all—just as I was pondering this, the previously noisy table quieted down.

Or rather, the constant din changed to a murmur of excitement. Did something happen?

“What’s going on, I wonder? Did something happen?”

“Something happened, you say… Mai, look behind you.”

“Who’s this guy, do you know him?”

“Hamazaki-san.”

I heard his voice.

Why, how come? This is the last place he should be, so why—

“…Kirishima-kun?”

Surprised, I looked up to find him with an unusually, or rather, more serious than usual expression.

“What? Mai-chan, you know this person?”

“Uh, yeah. From the same circle.”

“Come with me.”

The sudden touch—not the right word at all. He looked directly into my eyes and slowly laid his hand over mine, being careful not to shock me further.

There was no discomfort or revulsion. Unlike that time, there was no electric shock running through my body; his hand was surprisingly cold.

For him to initiate contact, something significant must have happened. He asked for my coat, and I quickly retrieved it.

After a bit of a commotion, we managed to leave the drinking party.

“You knew you’d get punched, didn’t you?”

On the way to the bar where the seniors were waiting, I asked him.

Touching the cheek that got hit, he smiled and said, “It’s okay.”

“But if I hadn’t done that, I couldn’t have taken you away.”

Despite having been punched, he looked slightly happy. Satisfied that things went as he planned.

Ah, he’s always like this. Sacrificing himself physically and mentally to resolve situations. Trying to solve problems at his own expense.

It must hurt, it must be difficult, and yet he accepts that role, convincing me it’s all over, and tries to move on.

That’s just too sad. Why does he let himself be hurt by so many people and yet never tries to hurt anyone in return? How can he stay hurt like that?

“…You’re too kind, Kirishima-kun.”

I muttered loud enough for him, walking beside me, to hear.

However, he just continued walking with his usual indifferent face, as if nothing had happened.

It won’t work from this distance.

I need to tell him more directly, up close.

I need to change. I need to be the one to hug him first, with my own will.