I Went Back to Being a High School Student Again, but I Was Rejected by My Childhood Friend, Whom I Thought Was In Love With Me, So I tried to Suicide With the Most Beautiful Girl In the School. - Chapter 3

The Hated Person

　Natsuki stares at me with a piercing gaze as I silently keep her hand in mine opened her mouth again.

“What are you doing here?”

“I just noticed the door to the rooftop was open and came here out of curiosity.”

　She responds with a sneer at my words.

“Huh, I thought you came here to jump off the rooftop because of the shock of being rejected by your childhood friend, am I wrong? “

　That’s a provocative word.

　I don’t argue with her, but I turn to her and ask her.

“What are you doing here? You opened the padlock on the door, didn’t you? How did you do that?”

“…asking so many questions, ugh.”

　Natsuki says mockingly.

　If I were just a high school boy, I would have lost my temper at this point.

　But now I know that Natsuki is going to kill herself soon. Patiently, I try to talk to her.

“Anyway, come to this side because it’s dangerous. If the teacher finds you from below, they will come here soon, and if you slip and fall down, you will be in big trouble.”

　After hearing my words, Natsuki’s grim expression turned into one of bewilderment.

“In this rain, no club activities are going on outside. Students and teachers coming home from school are all under umbrellas, so they won’t notice me.”

　Natsuki didn’t seem to be listening to my words.

　I thought I might as well drag her over the railing to my side.

“…You’re thinking something annoying. All right, I’ll move over, okay? “

　Natsuki stepped over the railing, perhaps sensing my silent expression.

　I was worried that she might slip, but my fears were unfounded.

　She stood next to me and let out a sigh before turning to me and saying,

“I was on the roof because I wanted to be alone. I opened the padlock by myself after looking up how to open it on the Internet. It was pretty easy, just use a couple of clips.”

“…What happened all of a sudden? “

“I’m just talking to myself.”

　Natsuki said grimly. Apparently, she had just answered my question.

“Well, thank you.”

　I say, and Natsuki shrugs her shoulders.

“You seem to be in a different mood than usual.”

　I cringe at her words.

　Did she realize that I was in a time leap――?

“I knew it, you must be mentally ill from the heartbreak.”

　That’s what I thought, I guess not.

　However, I have a complicated feeling…

“You usually ignore me, but when you are weak, you want me to talk to you? “

　Natsuki said mockingly.

　I hear her words, and I make a serious face.

　As she said, I had been ignoring Natsuki before.

　It’s not only me.

　Natsuki was the most hated person in our school.

“Did you get so bitter at being ignored by everyone that you decided to jump off the roof? “

　Earlier, Natsuki said she wanted to be alone.

　Wasn’t that because she was suffering from the surroundings?

“What? Why should I kill myself just because you country kids ignored me? “

　Snickering at my words, Natsuki continued.

“Even if I have to kill all of you, I will choose to live.”

　I know that her tone of voice is only pretending to be strong.

　Because, contrary to her words, she chooses to die in the near future.

“You, I hated you.”

“Did you? I also hate you.”

　She replies to my words without a pause. However, her strong words are starting to look kind of silly.

“A beautiful and smart girl who transferred from the city to a rural high school… she speaks beautiful standard Japanese like an NHK announcer, but when she talks to us, she always deliberately does a mocking accent.”

“Ha? That’s only your paranoia. I didn’t mean to make fun of you.”

　She glares at me and says.

“Yes, I know. You didn’t mean to make fun of us. You just wanted to fit in as quickly as possible. But we didn’t think so.”

　Natsuki listens to my words with a serious expression on her face.

“We didn’t want to be ridiculed, so we isolated you from the group, and we all decided to ignore you. Did you feel the insidiousness of the country’s people? It’s funny, isn’t it?

“It’s not funny to me because I’m being harmed by that.”

“That’s true…”

　I flinch at her answer.

“I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you.”

　I say this and then bow to Natsuki.

“If you really feel bad. Can you jump down from here..? Well, I don’t think you can.”

　Natsuki said in a cold voice.

　I guess she didn’t really want me to jump down from here. But there was no way she could forgive my sudden apology.

　…I climb over the railing.

　And then I looked down.

　The roof of the four-story school building.

　There is no grass or trees to provide a cushion, and the ground is solid concrete.

　If I jump off, will I be able to end my life in this second week?

　I don’t know how to get back to the future…

　It doesn’t mean I don’t value studying hard, getting into a good university, getting a job in a big company, and living a life without any inconvenience in this world again.

　Then, if you ask me if it is attractive for me to live a comfortable life after earning a certain amount of money through stocks or virtual currency, that is also different.

　In the first place, I had no regrets except for the fact that I did not tell Koyoi about my feelings for her.

　In other words… honestly, I have neither purpose nor motivation to live all over again now.

“You don’t mean it, don’t act like you do.”

　Natsuki said in a stiff voice to me as I kept looking down silently.

　I took a step forward without answering her words.

　If I took one more step, my body would crash to the ground.

　I thought that if that would be the end of this meaningless second round of my life… it would not be a bad thing.

　I tried to take another step, but I couldn’t…then I sat down on the spot.

“Sorry, Natsuki. I’m too scared to die by myself.”

　I turned my head and said to her.

　In my mind, the memory of the car accident in the future came back to my mind.

　The intense pain and suffering were only for a short time, but I could not forget it.

　If I fall from this place, I will surely suffer the same pain as I did back then.

　Thinking of that, I couldn’t move…

“All right, that’s okay. I know you weren’t kidding.”

　She said and held out her hand to me as I sat down.

　I stood up, took her hand, and climbed over the railing again.

“Anyway, don’t ignore me from now on, okay? “

　Natsuki said, smiling softly.

　I thought it was much more beautiful than the stern expression she had been showing me.

　I looked at her… and realized that she could overcome her fear and commit suicide.

　I stared straight at her.

“What? You’re ignoring me right off the bat? “

　She chuckled jokingly. I knew she had a beautiful face, and I thought she would have been very popular if she had smiled more often.

　But I didn’t respond to her words and said what I was thinking.

“I couldn’t jump down from here. I’m a coward who can’t die alone…but I promise.”

　――Alone, I couldn’t take that last step.

“When you decide to die, I’ll die with you.”

　――With her, I’m sure.

　I’ll be able to end this meaningless life on my own will――