If You Wish to Have Me - Chapter 138

Seyard did not refuse Kisa.

Embracing Kisa in his arms, he responded actively to the kiss, and the two were preoccupied with devouring each other for a while.

When they briefly separated to catch their breath, Kisa wiped the saliva from the corner of his mouth and whispered.

“Let’s go to our room.”

Without waiting for his answer, she took Seyard’s hand and led him toward the bedroom.

Soon arriving at the Duke’s bedroom with hurried steps, the two resumed kissing as soon as the door closed.

This time too, it was Kisa who rushed to him first.

Her uncharacteristic assertiveness both excited and bewildered Seyard.

“Kisa.”

Seyard, who had gently separated her from himself with his hands, asked while holding his breath.

“Do you truly love me?”

His face looked searching yet somehow desperate.

Kisa stared at that face for a moment, then instead of opening her mouth, she pushed his body hard with both hands.

Of course, it was impossible for her to knock Seyard down with her strength, and he merely stepped back a few paces before sitting down on the bed.

Kisa knew she couldn’t give him any opening here.

That clever mind and sharp eyes could dig to the bottom of her if she showed even the slightest weakness.

She couldn’t let everything turn to bubbles at this point when the fateful day was just around the corner.

Moreover, he was an extremely thorough person, so if he noticed something, there was a high possibility he would pull out the problem by its roots entirely.

If he set his mind to it, manipulating his wife’s social relationships would be child’s play.

‘Miss Manoa is a good person, but she probably wouldn’t help me if it meant putting her trading company and her people in danger.’

So she had to approach this with the mindset that there would be no second chance.

“I love you, Seyard.”

Kisa climbed onto the man’s knees, hoping that her acting skills had improved greatly enough that he wouldn’t feel any particular discomfort.

“If that weren’t the case, why would I be doing this with you?”

Seyard remained silent while meeting Kisa’s eyes.

Kisa faced those eyes that mixed reason and lust head-on as she stroked his cheek.

“I love you. If you want, I can say it as many times as you like.”

Somehow, confidence welled up from within her heart.

She couldn’t see herself in a mirror, but her acting right now was probably perfect.

“I love you.”

Because it wasn’t entirely acting.

The next moment, the words of love that were about to come out again were swallowed by Seyard’s mouth.

Kisa kissed him while stroking the back of his round head.

He had clearly looked like he had something to say just moments before, but desire must have taken priority.

The great Seyard… Vischer Hillan succumbing to desire.

He too was ultimately just a human who wanted to believe the words he had longed to hear.

Or perhaps it was arrogance that blinded him, thinking there would be no disruption to his plans even if he didn’t resolve his suspicions right away.

In any case, she was relieved to have somehow gotten through this moment. From now on, she would be more careful—

“Mmh.”

But her thoughts couldn’t proceed further.

Because he had gently bitten Kisa’s tongue.

“Focus, Kisa.”

His voice had dropped low, and his reddish-brown eyes seemed to have taken on an even deeper hue than usual.

Before those things, Kisa swallowed her saliva.

It seemed he had no intention of tolerating even the slightest other thought occupying a corner of her mind.

Truly selfish greed that wanted to claim everything from her head to her toes as his own.

Feeling both instinctive revulsion and faint ecstasy from it, Kisa closed her eyes.

If she could grasp the future she desired by fulfilling his wish tonight, she was willing to let him have his way.

Ah, you resentful yet beloved one.

‘If you wish to have me…’

The two lips that had briefly separated then overlapped again, and Seyard and Kisa lay down on the bed.

The night had only just begun.

****

How much time had passed? At the hour when the world was dyed in darkness, Kisa lifted her eyelids.

Her body had no strength left in it, but strangely, only her mind was clear.

After feeling the texture of the sheets against her bare skin and the warmth of the body beside her for a moment, she carefully raised her upper body so as not to wake the person next to her.

The man was sleeping, making regular breathing sounds that perfectly matched his personality.

Thinking it felt somehow fresh, she recalled her memories and realized this might be the first time she had observed him sleeping like this.

A person who always went to sleep later than Kisa and woke up early.

‘So this is how Seyard looks when he sleeps.’

Unlike his tightly closed eyes, his slightly parted lips somehow made him look younger than his age.

Kisa unconsciously reached her hand toward his face, then froze with a start.

Since he might wake up, she should be satisfied with just looking.

She buried her chin in the pillow and muttered soundless words to herself.

If she hadn’t lost her childhood memories of meeting him, if she had seen through his intentions from the beginning, if she had listened to the story of the boy who had brought her the cat’s corpse back then and cleared up the misunderstanding to become decent friends…

Would things have been different for us?

Kisa’s head answered no.

The two of them were fundamentally different and could never understand each other, destined to run on parallel lines.

But her heart kept imagining other possibilities.

She had to honestly admit it. This person still existed clearly in Kisa’s heart.

Unlike when she learned of Daniel’s betrayal, she couldn’t replace him with names like lingering attachment or the past.

Perhaps she never would be able to, for her entire life.

But even so, Kisa had decided to leave him, and her heart remained unchanged even now.

She would never belong to anyone ever again.

The next day, Kisa returned smoothly to Count Vansfelt’s mansion.

Seyard, who had woken up in the same bed, treated Kisa affectionately as always, as if his suspicions from the previous day had never existed.

“I want to stay by your side forever, but at least for now, I should yield to the Vansfelt people. Soon we’ll always be together anyway.”

These were the words he left while seeing Kisa off as she departed the Hillan mansion.

Thus, Kisa came to spend her remaining time until the wedding day in the house where she had lived all her life.

From Seyard’s perspective, this was consideration to allow Kisa to properly bid farewell to those she was fond of, but for her, it was an opportunity to leave him.

“Well then, goodbye, Seyard.”

To Kisa’s farewell, Seyard said they would see each other again, and Kisa responded with a kiss.

Then, as the carriage began moving, she stuck her head out the window and waved at him for a long time while watching him.

Seyard smiled and waved back.

At least it was fortunate that his last expression was a smiling face.

Returning home, Kisa had conversations with Count Vansfelt and other members of the family.

Her younger brother Julian was scheduled to arrive on the wedding day, but since they weren’t particularly close siblings to begin with, she didn’t feel much regret about it.

Her father was someone who definitely looked after his own interests, so the younger brother under him, and the Vansfelt servants too, would all live well. That was enough.

Time passed this way, and finally it became the last night at Vansfelt before the wedding.

There had been no particular contact from Manoa during this time, but rather, this was no different from meaning that there were no changes to the plan the two had made earlier.

“Well then, Miss, have a good night.”

“You too, Nanny.”

The nanny, who had kissed Kisa’s forehead, looked at her for a moment and then her eyes welled up with tears.

“Just because you’re getting married doesn’t mean you should forget me.”

“How could that happen? I’ll often come visit with gifts, so don’t be too sad.”

“…….”

“What’s wrong, Nanny?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing at all. Tomorrow is an important day, so please go to sleep quickly. I’ll be going now.”

“Yes, see you tomorrow.”

After the nanny withdrew, Kisa stared into space for a while.

“I’ll often come visit”—it was a lie that could never come true.

She pressed down the sadness rising in her chest and got up from the bed.

Her hands were urgent as she took out the large bag she had placed under the bed beforehand and packed things into it.

She couldn’t pack a suitcase in advance since others might find it suspicious.

Fortunately, there wasn’t much to take, so Kisa quickly finished packing.

She had only the most basic clothes, and apart from that, it was simple luggage consisting entirely of money and personal belongings.

Finally, after placing a sheet of paper on the desk, Kisa left the room.

She then tiptoed through the corridor and was about to go down the stairs when she heard a voice from behind.

“Where are you going, Miss?”

The nanny stood there blankly with an unreadable expression.

“Where are you trying to go with luggage like that?”