Ranobe Mo Ore Mo Sukina Gyaru - Volume 1 Chapter 4.3

Gal and Cooking 3

『Wow! There are so many ingredients! Even though they’re expensive, you even prepared crabs and stuff! Can I put a crab in nikujaga?』

As she said that, Tsumakawa held a red king crab in her arms.

Then she moved her crab’s pincers and cracked a pun, saying ‘Crab Mania (かに道楽)’,

However, a caption appeared saying 《Boring WWww》 and criticized the joke.

(TN: wwwww, It is short for the Japanese word for “laugh” 笑う = warau, whose sound starts with a w. Sometimes people write 笑 instead of w, but the letter w is much faster to type on some keyboards. wwwww = hahahahaha )

“Isn’t that text a bit harsh? It might be true that it’s not funny, but it’s a bit pitiful to put what everyone’s thinking into text…”

“Hey, isn’t what Nezumayo is saying harsh too?”

Ignoring Tsumakawa’s comment, I see that she found a certain ingredient in the next scene of the video.

For some reason, she raised her excitement and brought it to the cutting board.

『Pineapple! Won’t it definitely become delicious if we add it?』

“Come on, this isn’t sweet and sour pork! And even in sweet and sour pork, you don’t use pineapple. What kind of daring move is adding pineapple to nikujaga…”

“Ahaha! This girl is really bad. She can’t cook at all.”

“What’s your position to be saying that? The girl trying to cut pineapple and the girl sitting right next to me is the same.”

As I retorted like that, I continued watching Tsumakawa’s cooking video together with her.

…First of all, she’s cooking with incredibly long nails.

I mean, there’s no way she can cut a pineapple with those nails. Just as I thought that—predictably.

With the words ‘Ouch!’ Tsumakawa accidentally injured her finger on a pineapple thorn.

『Aww, this is the worst… Seriously, this can’t be happening… Huh? Gross… evil pineapple…』

After that, the screen went dark, and a title card appeared: ‘Five Minutes Later~’

『Okay… Let’s start over and make the nikujaga… I mean, I don’t really like nikujaga, but my manager told me to do it, so I’ll do it. It’s my job, you know.』

“You’re obviously unhappy not because you don’t like nikujaga but because you’re injured!”

“I seriously won’t ever try to peel pineapple skin again. Pineapple is unforgivable!”

“Who would’ve thought that even Pineapple-kun would come to be hated by gals just because it has thorns?”

After that, Tsumakawa, who had become a bit grumpy, refocused on the main cooking process.

Giving up on the pineapple, she chose carrots, thinly sliced beef, and onions as the ingredients for nikujaga.

As she picked up the crucial potatoes, she brightened up a bit and proudly opened her mouth.

『Is this potato a Danshaku or a May Queen? I’m pretty sure May Queen is better suited for Nikujaga because it’s less likely to fall apart when cooked. ——By the way, Miona has this kind of knowledge thanks to her mom’s teachings. Hehe (smug face).”—』

(TN: Potato variety in Japan.)

“What’s that woman who lost to pineapple saying… “

“I didn’t lose! It’s a strategic retreat!”

“If she retreats and doesn’t fight again, then she loses, right?”

While exchanging such conversations, we observed the cheerful gal cooking together.

Eventually, after finishing washing the vegetables, Tsumakawa peeled them and began cutting them into bite-sized pieces.

“Oh? You’re handling these steps pretty smoothly.”

“Ehehe. Can you praise me more?”

“Well, the cut vegetables look quite uneven… The shapes are all over the place, so they won’t be cooked evenly.”

“Don’t joke around, give me more praise.”

While we were at it, the cooking progressed to the final stage of seasoning.

So far, Tsumakawa had been cooking the cut vegetables and meat in a pot without doing anything about the seasoning.

Then, she turned her attention to the table with various seasonings.

After observing what was there, she picked up a few of them and tilted her head with a bright expression.

『Shōyu… sugar… and mirin? What do you use mirin for? Isn’t it unnecessary? ——Oh, miso? Miso sounds good, right? Should I put it in?』

“Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! Stop with the miso! Reconsider using miso! I’ve already given up on you not using Mirin! For now, just put down that huge container of miso you’re holding!”

『Do we not need a secret ingredient? ——Ah! How about adding some pink Monster Energy?』

“Don’t do unnecessary things, you stupid!”

“Ahahaha! This is seriously funny! You’re really good at reacting to things!”

As I retorted while tapping her smartphone, Tsumakawa laughed.

…She’s laughing like it’s someone else’s business, it’s you in the past who is in this video!

Anyway, from there, the video went as I expected—Tsumakawa added soy sauce and sugar, and in the end, she threw a dollop of miso into the pot.

After that, she finally tasted the completed dish and seemed to realize something.

『…Hmm, well, it’s good. The taste is pretty good… Oh, I see. It’s that kind of vibe? Right.』

And so, with the dish now plated in a bowl, she held it in her hands and showed it to everyone watching the video.

With a cute smile, she said:

『There you have it!—It’s Tsumakawa’s unique miso soup!』

“You’re cooking nikujaga, not miso soup!”

As soon as I said that, the gal beside me burst into laughter while clutching her stomach.

Well, she’s laughing a lot, but I’m talking to you, okay?

The video was titled ‘A Gal Tried Making Nikujaga!’ but it’s actually a sort of false advertising?!

After that unexpected twist, the video ended.

At the end, Tsumakawa said, ‘Don’t forget to subscribe to the channel,’ but before asking for that, she should probably apologize to the viewer.

“Haa, haaah… That was a tiring video to watch… There were so many parts I wanted to retort to in that video…”

“Hehe. But it was entertaining, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, uh-huh… Tsumakawa’s actions were unpredictable, so I didn’t get bored…”

“Yay! I also had fun watching Nezumayo’s reactions! Let’s watch another video with me in it next time!”

Tsumakawa said that with a cheerful smile, but honestly, I felt like I should take a break from watching for a while.

Can’t you spare me from expending energy when I’m low on cash and nutrition?

While thinking this, I turned my attention back to Tsumakawa and continued, looking into her eyes.

“By the way, changing the topic a bit, Tsumakawa. You mentioned that you’d make a bento for me tomorrow, but you know, it’s fine not to do that… Just your intention means a lot to me, thank you for your kindness!”

“Well, actually, the topic hasn’t really changed, has it? After watching the video, you don’t want to eat my homemade dishes anymore?”

“N-no that’s not it!”

“You’re lying! I was going to make something for Yoda since I learned about the fun of cooking during this filming… but you don’t want to try my miso soup?”

“You’re planning to make miso soup? If you’re going to make miso soup next time, wouldn’t you end up making Nikujaga or something..?”

“Anyway, I’ll make a bento for you tomorrow, so make sure to eat it properly!”

“Please spare me, I’ll pay you.”

“You’re so broke but you still don’t want to eat it even if you have to pay me, how extreme!”

Saying that, Tsumakawa gave my shoulder a strong pat.

Seriously, spare me, please.

By the way, this is a minor twist, but on the next day, the bento that Tsumakawa made for me wasn’t the questionable concoction I had feared but was actually pretty good…

She said something like, ‘This is what I can make when I properly follow the recipe!’

Oddly enough, on the white rice portion, the word ‘Really tasty’ was written in seaweed and the bento was filled with brown side dishes that boys love.

I ate it while shedding tears and muttering, just like that Gin character from One Piece.

Gosh, I was way too hungry.