Ranobe Mo Ore Mo Sukina Gyaru - Volume 1 Chapter 8.3

Gal and Friends 3

“So, what were we talking about?”

“I said…When cocoa is exported, it tends to be bought cheaply by foreign countries, right? That’s why the wages of the workers in the producing countries are low. It’s because the value of cocoa and the money that goes to the producing country don’t match up, so we need to think about it a bit.”

“Were we talking about such socially conscious topics?! Aren’t we too highly conscious as a high school student?!”

“Because social dominance is absolution to the extent that a noisy minority pushes it primitively. That’s why, if it comes to that, we should comport the peaches!”

“Don’t start listing incomprehensible words that you don’t even understand the meaning of. And somehow, I crave peaches now.”

“By the way, don’t you think canned peaches taste good?”

“Let’s calm down… Let’s keep the conversation within my understanding range…”

When I mentioned that, Tsumakawa-san chuckled and then continued with a smile.

“Sorry, what I said earlier was a lie. We weren’t talking about such things at all… We were just discussing light novels like usual.”

“I see… So we’re not a highly conscious individual, huh…”

“Anyway, changing the subject a bit… Look at this! When I went to Animate the other day, they had an acrylic keychain of ‘Megumin’ from ‘KonoSuba,’ so I bought it! Isn’t it super cute?”

While saying this, Tsumakawa-san placed her school bag on the table and showed off the acrylic keychain attached to her bag to me.

“Oh, that’s cute…”

“Yeah. It’s really nice, isn’t it? It’s so cute, I love it!”

To be honest, I’m the kind of otaku who would spend money on buying more books rather than these kinds of merchandise… but I see.

Seeing items like these, I’d be tempted to spend my money too.

While I was thinking that, I noticed that there were several more keychains hanging from her bag.

Looking at one of them, I unintentionally made a puzzled expression.

“…This might be irrelevant, but Tsumakawa-san, there’s a keychain with a logo inside a double circle with blue and green tones, and ‘F’ written in white letters… Is that, by any chance——”

“Oh, you got it? Hehe… This is the Fantasia Bunko logo!”

“Who would want such a weird keychain like that?”

Looking at the keychain resembling the Fantasia Bunko logo, I couldn’t help but comment out loud.

What kind of sentiment does Tsumakawa-san have when attaching this to her bag…?

“You know how even for idols there’s a thing called supporting the whole group instead of just one member? It’s the same as that.”

“Oh, you mean supporting a specific publishing label? Well, if you put it that way, it’s not too strange to have a keychain resembling a light novel label logo… I guess?”

“Seriously, is this really good? I don’t get what’s so good about it though.”

“You don’t get it either, Tsumakawa-san? …But this keychain is amazing! Someone wouldn’t buy this unless they truly love light novels… Minacho-san, you’re such a passionate light novel reader, huh?”

“Ehehe, maybe? But, you know, I bought an extra one just in case. Want me to give it to you?”

“Ah, I don’t want it.”

“What do you mean you don’t want it?”

Tsumakawa-san pretended to get angry at my nonchalant response.

Then, after taking a sip of her vanilla shake and placing it down, she continued speaking with a cheerful smile.

“Hehe… Well, I was really in the mood for a shake today, so I’m really chillin’ right now. Thanks for coming along, Yoda.”

“…To be honest, I do feel like I’m being forced to go along with you…”

“Hehe… You’re surprisingly easygoing, and you never really turn down my invitations, so can you please stop with that ‘Reject any advances from real-life girls,’ Yoda? I mean, you do enjoy hanging out with Miona, right? Then don’t make things complicated by trying to reject me every time.”

“Well, I’ve been brought along to this point because I couldn’t refuse your invitations, but deep down, the true me wants to reject your invitations. That’s why I’m here right now, being swept along with the flow. It makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong…”

“What do you mean by ‘doing something wrong’? Stop using vague words out of nowhere… I mean, aren’t we friends already? No matter what your values are, if we’re friends, you don’t have to keep turning down my invitations all the time, right?”

“Sorry, Tsumakawa-san. Can I just say a few words?”

Without waiting for Tsumakawa-san to respond, I cut her off and took a sip of the ginger ale I had just purchased.

Then, after moistening my throat, I looked at Tsumakawa-san, who was tilting her head in confusion, and said this.

This had been on my mind since yesterday when I saw her walking with Hori in the corridor.

“I really am not Tsumakawa-san’s friend and… we can’t be friends.”

The moment I uttered those words, Tsumakawa-san’s soft smile vanished from her face.

–

Then, after a brief moment of lowering her gaze with a hint of sadness, she lifted her head, her expression turning ice-cold, and asked quietly.

“…Why? Even though we’re having so much fun…I enjoy being with you, Yoda. So why would you say something like that? It doesn’t make sense. Weren’t you having fun being with me?”

“No, that’s not what I meant. It’s not like that——”

“Then it’s even less clear. If being together is fun, why can’t we just be friends? Seriously, you’ve insisted on it for some reason, and it’s kind of creepy. In the end, you’re just being weirdly too stubborn to accept me. That’s called narrow-minded.”

“…What Tsumakawa-san said is true… But there’s one thing I want you to know. It’s not because you’re at fault that we can’t be friends… it’s more like there’s an issue on my side…”

“I already know that. It’s not Mona’s fault at all. It’s because you’re being selfish and won’t accept me… Even if I try my best, Yoda won’t look my way… It’s all your fault!”

Tsumakawa’s emotions flared up as she raised her voice, but she immediately lowered her head and apologized.

“Sorry, it’s not right for me to yell…”

Apologizing right away for becoming emotional like that is quite impressive…

While being slightly impressed by this, I looked down at the cup on the table.

I spoke out of line now, I didn’t need to go out of my way to cause a stir by saying I can’t be friends with Tsumakawa-san…

What am I really trying to accomplish by earnestly trying to confront her?

I thought so, but it’s too late now.

Having angered Tsumakawa-san and made her look like she’s about to cry, I can only continue speaking to fulfill my responsibility to explain, despite not having sorted out my own feelings yet.

“When I saw you and Horito walking side by side yesterday… it’s just that… well, I felt like… ‘I can’t become like him,’ you know?”

“I don’t understand. Do you want to become Shota? Do you want to walk home with me? You can do that whenever you want. If you want that, I will——”

“No, that’s not it. It’s not about wanting to walk home with you… It’s just that, seeing you two together like it’s perfectly natural… I felt like… I can’t do that…”

“…Why?”

“After all, I am… I have no redeeming features…I’m nothing but an otaku…”

“——”

By putting it into words like that, I became aware of the feelings I had for Horito…

It was just a sense of inferiority.

I only have two friends in the class. I like light novels and games, but I’m not particularly skilled at them.

I work part-time because I need money, but I’m constantly scolded by the manager and seniors.

Even in my studies, I can only manage to avoid failing.

There’s nothing I can be proud of, and I haven’t achieved anything. Despite that, it would be too brazen to become friends with someone like Tsumakawa-san, who’s already modeling at my age…

At that moment, the other me told me, ‘How can a nobody like you be with her who is adored by everyone in the class, just like Horito?’

“I don’t think I’m the right person to be next to Tsumakawa-san. So, even when Tsumakawa-san invited me to be friends, I couldn’t accept it… whoops, it seems like this conversation is getting heavy, but really, it’s not that serious. It’s just that I think Tsumakawa-san and I should live separately as human beings, that’s all.”

” ….. “

“There’s no law that says you have to be someone who’s worthy of being friends with others. So, from Tsumakawa-san’s perspective, you might be thinking, ‘What is this guy talking about?’ But honestly, it’s not about others. It’s because I haven’t accepted myself. As long as I think that way, I’ll probably never become Tsumakawa-san’s friend…”

” ….. “

“In the end, the reason I can’t become friends with Tsumakawa-san isn’t because you’re a real-life girl who eventually would betray me…Well, I might just be getting deceived, but I can no longer dislike Tsumakawa-san as I did before and label you as ‘a woman who will eventually betray me,’ just like Yuna-chan and ArlSU… uh, of course, that doesn’t mean I like Tsumakawa-san in that way…please don’t get carried away.”

“I’m not getting carried away, so don’t tell me not to.”

“I-I see… So, well, uh… In short, I’m a person with low self-esteem, twisted in my own way. Because of that, I can’t be friends with Tsumakawa-san. It’s absolutely unnecessary for Tsumakawa-san to get angry or sad about it…”

After speaking up to that point, I realized what a lengthy and embarrassing speech I had given.

Oh no… I started talking without properly organizing my thoughts and ended up expressing emotions I didn’t intend to share! This is the worst!

But well, the pathetic sense of inferiority I just spoke of is my true feelings, and only I understand those feelings…

I get it, Yoda. You’re not wrong. Your inferiority complex about not being someone worthy enough to stand next to Tsumakawa is not mistaken!——It’s this self-affirmation that’s fundamentally wrong!

As I reflected this way, Tsumakawa, sitting right in front of me, suddenly stood up and moved toward me——Then she sat down on the two-seater sofa where I was sitting.

As a result, she was now directly on my right, and my right shoulder and her left shoulder were touching.

“Uh… Wh-why did you come and sit next to me?”

In response to my question, Tsumakawa didn’t say anything; she just gave me a mischievous smile.

Then, she slowly spread her arms wide——

Without any warning, she enveloped my head with her arms and held me against her chest.