The Lay Flat Life: My Wife's Cultivation Makes Me Stronger - Chapter 18

Han Feng felt exasperated as he looked at the little fox, who blinked back at him with its innocent, wide eyes.

Man and fox stared at each other in silence.

“So, let me get this straight. You might not have a cultivation level or any combat power, but you have several innate abilities. For example, you can sense malicious intentions around you, which is great for avoiding assassinations. You can move at lightning speed and confuse or disorient enemies. Oh, and let’s not forget—you can absorb the spiritual energy from dead people, turning them into those blood-essence orbs.”

“I can absorb it from living people too,” the little fox said cheerfully.

“You can absorb spiritual energy from the living?”

Han Feng’s eyes widened in shock.

“Yeah, but it usually ends up with me getting hit, so I stopped doing that.”

“Of course it does. Who’s gonna just stand there and let you drain their spiritual energy?” Han Feng sighed as he picked up the little fox and walked into the living room. “Alright, let’s see you use your talent now and take care of these two bodies for me.”

He pulled the two corpses out of his storage pouch and dumped them on the floor.

The little fox wrinkled its nose and said, “Eww, that’s disgusting. I don’t like this.”

“Disgusting? All you have to do is blow some air.”

“But it drains my spiritual energy. This isn’t an easy job for me,” the fox said, putting on the face of a shrewd businessman.

“Fine. Five spirit stones.”

“Deal!”

The little fox grinned widely and opened its mouth, ready to do its work.

Suddenly, Han Feng stopped it, quickly removing the storage pouches and swords from the bodies before gesturing for the fox to continue.

The little fox took a deep breath and exhaled over the corpses. The bodies quickly dissolved into two blood-essence orbs.

These orbs could help with cultivation, but unfortunately, Han Feng couldn’t use them to improve his own strength.

He buried the two orbs under the roots of his most expensive herb, the White Lingluo Flower, in his herb garden. In no time, he would have an impressive harvest of mature flowers with plenty of medicinal properties.

Returning to the living room, Han Feng opened the two storage pouches. Inside, he found some Qi Condensation pills, healing pills, a few mid- and low-grade spirit weapons, and about thirty or forty spirit stones.

There wasn’t much else. Clearly, the assassins hadn’t carried anything that could reveal their identities.

Han Feng handed ten spirit stones to the little fox.

“Whoa, so generous? You must be up to something shady. Come on, spill it. What dirty job are you buttering me up for this time?” the little fox asked, sounding suspicious.

Han Feng hung one of the storage pouches on the little fox’s collar and smiled.

“This storage pouch is yours. Just drop some of your blood on it to claim it, and you’ll be able to use it.”

“You’re giving me more and more things. What’s the catch? I have principles, you know.”

“You do? Wait—are you saying you’re female?”

Han Feng was surprised, and without thinking, lifted the little fox up to check between her legs.

“Let go of me, you pervert! How dare you! That’s not for you to look at!”

The little fox squealed in anger, flailing her tiny paws at Han Feng in a feeble attempt to defend her dignity.

“You’re a spirit beast. Why do you even care about that? Anyway, back to business. You remember how to get to Jiang Surou’s place, right?”

“Of course I do. Why?”

“I need you to deliver this for me.” Han Feng placed the Windborne Sword on the table.

“The Windborne Sword? Didn’t you just buy this yesterday for 1,800 spirit stones? Are you really going to give such an expensive item to that woman?” The little fox stared in shock, and then, as if a lightbulb went off in her head, she pointed at Han Feng and declared loudly, “Ohhh~ I get it now! You’re a simp!”

“What simp? Don’t say it like that. I’m just being a good man—loving my wife, taking care of her. You get it?”

Han Feng sighed, feeling exasperated.

In reality, he had no real feelings for Jiang Surou. If it weren’t for the benefits he could get, he wouldn’t even bother giving her anything.

A simp? Not in this lifetime. He wasn’t Ye Longyuan.

“Then why don’t you deliver it yourself? That would show more sincerity and earn you extra points with her,” the fox said slyly.

“Because she likes you more than she likes me. You’re so cute and sweet. If you deliver it, she’ll be more likely to accept it. But if I go, she might feel embarrassed and refuse.”

“Hmm, alright. I’ll sweeten up my words for you when I give it to her,” the fox said with an innocent smile.

“Good. And if she asks where the sword came from, just tell her I sold some of the herbs I’ve been growing all these years, got some spirit stones, and bought the sword from the Treasures Pavilion.

This sword has been there for a while, and lots of people have probably seen it. It’s not something I can hide.”

“And what should I say after that?”

“If she’s happy, casually mention that I saw her flying on her sword the other day and thought it was impressive. Then say I wish I could learn sword flight too.”

“Why?”

“Just say it. Don’t worry about why.”

Han Feng couldn’t directly ask for the sword flight technique in exchange for the Windborne Sword, because the Marriage Blessing only worked when something was given to Jiang Surou as a gift. If it was a direct request for something in return, it would be considered a trade, and trades weren’t eligible for the blessing.

However, if he gifted her the flying sword, and she gave him the sword flight technique as a “return gift,” that wouldn’t affect the blessing.

If he could, Han Feng would send Jiang Surou all the formation materials and loot he had, hoping to get even more valuable items in return.

But that wouldn’t work for two reasons. First, Jiang Surou didn’t need those things—she was a wealthy young lady from a powerful family. Second, her cold and aloof personality meant that sending her too many things would only annoy her.

If she started refusing his gifts in the future, he’d lose his chance to keep exchanging for better items.

Plus, he couldn’t explain why he had so many valuable things in the first place.

The little fox, having listened carefully, stowed the Windborne Sword in her new storage pouch, then skipped and hopped her way up the mountain toward the outer disciples’ area.

Watching the little fox leave, Han Feng smiled in satisfaction.

Heh, the Marriage Blessing wants me to be a simp? I’ll turn the blessing and Jiang Surou into my tools instead.

As for Jiang Surou herself, I’ll avoid her if I can. Dealing with her is troublesome. Better to lie flat and enjoy life.

Han Feng took out the formation he had bought the previous day and followed the instructions to set it up around his courtyard.

The formation was designed to stay hidden until someone stepped inside or attacked. At that moment, it would activate.

Once the formation was set, Han Feng’s courtyard became his personal fortress. Nodding with satisfaction, he moved his chair into a better spot, lay down, and drifted off to sleep while basking in the sun.

The world is vast, but the best thing is lying flat.

Now he could lie down in comfort and peace.

He was relaxing, but his little fox was still running errands on his behalf.

The little fox eventually reached Jiang Surou’s residence. With a quick leap, she landed on the courtyard wall and peeked inside. Jiang Surou was sitting cross-legged by a window on the second floor, meditating.

“Sister Surou!” the little fox called sweetly from the wall.

Jiang Surou opened her eyes and turned to see the adorable little fox waving its tiny paw at her. A soft smile graced her usual cold expression.

“Little one, what brings you here? Come in.”

“Okay, okay!” The fox leapt from the wall, aiming for the window ledge but misjudged the distance and flailed, about to fall off with wide, panicked eyes.

—

T/L Note:
In Chinese culture, the term “姑娘” (gū niáng) is often used to refer to a young woman, and it can imply a stereotype of someone who is delicate, cautious, or displays traditionally “feminine” behavior. When Han Feng asks the question, “姑娘？你是个母的？” (Girl? You’re female?), he’s not simply inquiring about the fox’s biological sex. Instead, he’s teasing her based on her cautious and self-defensive behavior, which he associates with traits typically perceived as “girly” in a playful, humorous way. This type of teasing—where someone acts with a slight overconcern for principles or appearance—may prompt a character in Chinese fiction to be referred to as “姑娘”. The fox’s indignant reaction (calling Han Feng a “pervert”) confirms her gender while maintaining the comedic tone of the scene.