What If You Spoil a High School Girl Who Looks Like a Landmine? - Volume 1 Chapter 5.2

The Real Thing 2

With a quiet clattering sound, I push my bicycle along the nighttime road.

Stars twinkle beautifully in the night sky, yet their glow isn’t enough to clear the shadows on the road.

Darkness always finds its way.

“…….”

I’m lost in thought.

I’m not sure whether it’s because I’m trying to sort things out in my head, or because I can’t decide what my heart is set on.

I am—

“…Hmm.”

A buzzing noise comes from the basket of my bicycle.

My smartphone lying there is vibrating.

It’s an incoming call, with the word ‘Kanon’ on the screen.

“…Hello?”

『Hello, Onee-chan? Is the time okay? What are you doing?』

“Just taking a little walk.”

『Really? It’s morning here, so it’s nighttime in Japan, right? Be careful.』

“Yeah, thanks. So, what’s up?”

『Well, actually…』

Kanon, who is studying sports in Canada with Shion, starts talking about how a boy at school confessed to her.

She’s been popular since we lived in Japan, and it seems her popularity continues even in a foreign country.

『I’ve never had a boyfriend before, but I’ve heard that kind of experience can help with expressing emotions in skating… So I’m wondering, is it okay? But then again, it might be too frivolous to get a boyfriend while I’m studying abroad…』

“Oh…”

『Since I’ve moved up from Novice to Junior in my skating class, it’s time to get serious. So I’m not sure how that fits in.』

Both Kanon and Shion have extremely promising futures as athletes.

They are constantly on the podium, and expectations from those around them are high.

『Every time I worry about it, Shion starts taunting me, saying, ‘Someone looking like that won’t win the next competition!’ It’s not like I’m skating just to beat her!』

“Haha, for Shion, her biggest rival is you, Kanon.”

While Shion is very competitive, Kanon is an artist at heart.

『I know, but I also want to skate in a way that satisfies me.』

For her, the ice is not a battlefield to compete with others, but a workshop to create her art.

『What should I do, Onee-chan?』

“…I may not know much about figure skating like you or others do.”

Therefore, I can’t give proper advice as an athlete.

“But I do know a lot about our family. Kanon, you look the happiest when you’re focused solely on yourself, rather than worrying about beating someone or meeting someone else’s expectations.”

『…Is that so?』

“Yes. So don’t worry about what others say. What you truly believe is the right thing for Raihara Kanon. That’s what will be right, and you have the strength to make it the best choice.”

『…I see.』

“Yes, that’s how it is.”

I don’t know how much my words help, but Kanon says, ‘Thank you, Onee-chan.’

We chat about this and that for a while—things at home, things at school, delicious food we’ve had recently.

So,

『…Onee-chan, you don’t sound too cheerful, do you?』

“Huh?”

When Kanon suddenly says that, I can’t help but react with surprise.

『If you say you know a lot about me, then I know about you too. Your voice today sounds a bit different.』

“…Is that so?”

『Yes. Did something happen? …Ah, I see. It’s about Chifuji-san, isn’t it?』

“…”

I’m amazed, she’s sharp.”

『Eh, could it be that… it didn’t go well, or something?』

Kanon asks me cautiously, and I respond.

“Not that it didn’t go well, more like… it’s stuck before even getting to that point.”

『Before that point?』

“I’m… hesitating, I guess.”

I choose the words that seem to best fit my feelings.

“I’m hesitant to get too involved. Because… I’m not exactly a stable person.”

Knowing his situation, there are things I want to do, things I want to go through with.

But should I be the one to do them?

Would my actions really be beneficial for Chifuji-san?

Considering the life he’s led, I can’t help but think so,

“Shouldn’t the person at his side be someone more stable?”

In response to my words, Kanon speaks.

『You say you’re not stable…I don’t really understand the situation…』

“I can’t go into details right now.”

『Eh, I see. Hmm. But, Onee-chan, you know how Mom and Dad have always been really busy with work, right?』

The topic changes abruptly, but I answer, ‘Yes, why?’

My mother is still the same way, and while my father is currently in Canada prioritizing my two younger sisters over his job, he was always busy up until then, just like my mother.

『That’s why you, Onee-chan, took care of all the housework—cooking, cleaning, laundry, everything. On top of that, you’ve always supported me and Shion. You drove us to our club activities, gave us massages when we got home, and listened to us whenever we had concerns.』

‘So, you know,’ Kanon says, pausing before she continues,

『I’ve always felt guilty towards you, Onee-chan…』

“Kanon…”

『I mean, you’ve been working 24 hours, every day of the year, for the sake of the family. I felt guilty, and I was also worried that you might collapse someday. If that happened because of us…』

“…But Shion and Kanon are…”

『Now I understand, Onee-chan. There was a time when I didn’t. The turning point was when Shion and I went on our first intensive training camp. When we returned after three days of non-stop skating…』

“Ah…”

『You were totally drained, Onee-chan. From our perspective, it was like, ‘Why are you like this?’ We thought you’d be refreshed since you don’t need to take care of us anymore.』

I remember that.

Not being able to care for them, I felt increasingly drained with each passing day.

『Every time we went to a camp and saw you like that, Shion and I realized, ‘So that’s how Onee-chan is…’』

“…From around that time, both Shion and Kanon started calling me the ‘most eccentric’ one in the house…”

『Well, it’s just the way it is. So, I wonder if feeling sorry is pointless.』

That is exactly right.

The truth is, I enjoy taking care of people.

While it was incredibly tough, not once did I find those days painful.

『We know it best; your daily busy life was anything but normal, Onee-chan. That you lose your energy when you’re not enjoying yourself is something you can find in just anyone. So, well, it’s not wrong to say you’re ‘not stable.’』

“…I guess so.”

Kanon’s willingness to say things clearly is one of her strong points.

“…Kanon, besides what you mentioned, there are other ways in which I’m not stable. I only realized it myself recently.”

『Really?』

“Yes… I wonder why it’s like this. Even though I was raised in a stable home, why am I——”

『Wait, wait, wait, Onee-chan. Raised in a stable home?』

“Eh, yes…”

『So that’s your perception… That’s amazing…』

“What do you mean?”

Kanon tells me in response to my question.

『It’s the opposite. It’s not ‘despite being raised in a stable home, you’re not stable.’ It’s ‘because you’re not stable, our family could be stable.’!』

***

TN: The term ‘not stable’ can also be interpreted as ‘not proper’, ‘not decent’ or ‘nor normal/abnormal’.