Even If Your Regret Tries to Hold Me Back - Chapter 48

The end of the day was given fairly to everyone.

As the sun set, darkness inevitably settled over every street in Futuo. Lowell Street, where mostly upper-class figures resided, also began to be dotted with the lights of shops starting to illuminate.

Among them, a bar located on the outskirts was filled not with the usual rowdiness of a tavern, but with the sighs of two men occupying the space.

When a lament-mixed breath fell from the left side of the long table, a heavier sigh immediately settled down from the right side.

The bartender kept his distance from the two, wary of the dark atmosphere that poured out alternately like a call and response.

“Haah…”

“Hoooh…”

Like a single note, the sighs continued for about ten minutes.

Even the parties involved felt a strange sense of déjà vu from the unusual sound. The two men stopped bringing their glasses to their lips and raised their heads.

As their eyes met simultaneously, the man with crimson pupils was the first to exclaim.

“You are…!”

Eugene, who received Dion’s unconscious pointing, also spoke.

“How unlucky to meet again.”

He let out a light sneer and filled his empty glass to the brim again. He had long since abandoned the aristocratic etiquette of filling just over half.

Dion, interpreting Eugene’s attitude unfavorably, narrowed his eyes and said:

“To make it clear beforehand so I won’t be suspected of something absurd, I have never followed you around.”

“…”

Eugene didn’t respond. He simply emptied half his glass silently. Then, without looking at Dion, he let his voice flow with his exhaled breath.

“From what I can see, the person you’re looking for is still without news.”

Dion responded without relaxing his narrowed eyes.

“That seems to be the case for you as well.”

Eugene silently poured another glass. Dion, watching this series of actions, leaned slightly to the side.

“Who is this person you’re looking for that you’re so desperate about?”

“…Who says I’m desperate?”

“It’s written all over your face.”

Eugene’s golden eyes, somewhat angry, turned toward Dion. Of course, Dion didn’t flinch. Compared to the disapproving looks his superior gave him, Eugene’s expression even seemed gentle.

So he turned his body completely in that direction and volunteered to be a drinking companion.

“We’re both in hopeless situations, the night is long, so how about we chat briefly about our troubles and then part ways?”

“I’m not particularly inclined to do so.”

“I’m currently searching for the master of the merchant group I serve.”

Despite the clear nuance of refusal, Dion pretended not to notice and began speaking in a lamenting tone.

“He’s always had a talent for hiding since ancient times, so perhaps this is a natural result now. I’m sure he saw me but is deliberately avoiding me.”

Eugene gave up trying to stop Dion. Though he didn’t want to admit it, he was feeling rather lonely at the moment. He let the story flow as it would.

“The first time I met the merchant master was on a day when rain was pouring down terribly, just like today. No one cared about a fifteen-year-old bastard child. I was a being who existed or not, lived or died – it didn’t matter to anyone.”

“I don’t know what that feeling is like, but you certainly had a turbulent childhood.”

His tone was infinitely indifferent. Dion looked at Eugene with a somewhat sullen expression before continuing.

“Ahem, hmm. Anyway, the merchant master risked his life to save me. He pulled me out of a carriage sliding toward a cliff on a rainy road and rolled down the slope. There’s still a large scar on my master’s back from that day.”

Dion’s gaze wandered in the air as if recalling the past.

“Can you believe it? He saved someone he’d only known for half a day, someone who was just traveling the same road, without thinking twice. And all he said was that he just saved me because I was worth saving. That was all. Though he was only a year younger than me, he seemed so dependable.”

“You met an uncommon connection.”

“Yes. So that day I made a decision. Whether as a friend or as a subordinate, somehow I would become his person and see the end of the path he wanted to take together. We’ve been together for over ten years like that, and yet, yet…”

Dion’s mouth, which had been pouring out his story smoothly, stopped. He seemed to swallow something that was welling up several times, then complained with a voice mixed with tears.

“This damn master of mine never stays in one place for even a moment. I should have realized it from when he saved someone like me without thinking… This time I have no idea where he is. Haah…”

At the end of his sigh, Dion gulped down his drink. Having swallowed his sorrow along with it, he set down his cleanly emptied glass with a thud, concluding his story.

“There, my story ends like that. So, why have you come all the way here?”

“…I said I wasn’t inclined to share.”

“Did the person you’re looking for run away too?”

Once again faced with his persistent attitude, Eugene turned his head away. He intended to ignore him completely.

However, inevitably, his mind was already chewing over the question from moments before.

‘Run away. Run away…’

He maintained silence for a long while before finally giving an answer.

“No. It’s not running away. Just wandering and getting lost for a while.”

“Getting lost?”

“So what I need to do is set up the right signpost. I have to bring them back to my side. Like before.”

His gaze remained fixed on the wine label in front of him.

Dion, who had been quietly observing Eugene’s expression, lowered his voice slightly and probed.

“Seeing how earnest you are, that person must be quite important to you. Perhaps your wife…?”

“…”

“My goodness, I was just throwing it out there but hit the mark right away. If I’d known, I would have bet the drink money. What a waste.”

“You’re noisy.”

“By the way, did your wife leave home? Really, you should have treated her well from the beginning.”

Eugene glared at Dion, but he didn’t mind and swirled his glass.

Eugene became uncomfortable. For some reason, he was oddly reminded of the man who had visited the Grand Duke’s residence recently.

“That’s why I’m searching so desperately. To make things right from now on.”

“Oh my, a ship that has departed doesn’t return easily. When every step you take is a new and vast world, would you readily return to a small cage?”

Thud. The heavy wine bottle collided with the oak table, making a dull sound.

Eugene, who had finally let his mood show in his attitude, stood up without glancing at Dion.

“Consider it heavenly fortune that my drunken state has kept your head attached to your neck. I hope we never meet again. That would be best for both of us.”

The large back wrapped in a navy uniform moved away from the entrance, growing more distant. Dion watched him while flexing his stiffened fingers a few times.

‘Such a temper… Whether it’s a person or love that ran away, to catch them, he’ll need to lower that stiff neck of his first.’

A momentary burst of killing intent made his skin tingle.

****

Ever since receiving news from Gelda about joining the subjugation force, Helena’s daily routine had become mostly sword training.

Only five days remained until deployment. Helena was heading to the training ground today as usual.

“Could you spare me some time?”

If Ian hadn’t stopped her, she would have.

‘There’s still time before dinner… what could this be about?’

While he had troublesome aspects sometimes, he wasn’t someone who created unnecessary trouble. So Helena, instead of answering, obediently followed where he led.

Ian, heading toward the clearing, stopped in front of a cabin located in a secluded corner. It was an empty cabin that no one used.

Having felt Helena’s suspicious gaze all along, Ian opened the door first and entered.

“I heard you’re deploying next weekend. While skill doesn’t choose equipment, it wouldn’t hurt to prepare clothing in advance.”

Helena followed him inside without dropping her suspicious look.

The interior bore traces of long disuse, as expected from its exterior appearance. However, the wide table placed against the wall was organized without dust.

This seemed to be due to the objects neatly arranged on top of it.

As Helena cautiously approached them, Ian’s explanation was added from behind.

“This is armor made from the back leather of a Grade 1 magical beast, Cerberus. Unlike ordinary iron armor, its biggest advantage is being light while tough enough to require several strikes with an ordinary blade to cut through.”

Ian, standing beside Helena, first lifted a piece with silver shoulder guards attached to the shoulder blade area.

“Of course, it has drawbacks too. The material is quite stiff and rots easily, so even after extensive tanning, it’s hard to expect normal functionality.”

Continuing his explanation, Ian wrapped the armor around Helena’s torso. The leather, tracing delicate curves, was more flexible than expected.

Explaining the reason, Ian tied and pulled the knots.

“But Flam’s skill is considerable, so only the advantages remain. I was quite surprised.”

As her ribcage was constricted, Helena took a short breath. The texture of the magical beast leather felt unfamiliar, so she kept rubbing above her navel.

Ian’s fingertips brushed against the back of her hand. With a strange expression, he also wrapped a belt around her, then encircled Helena’s waist with both hands.

Then he bent down, and warm breath tickled her ear. His matter-of-fact touch also brushed various parts of her body as he adjusted the armor’s position.

Her sides and the lower part of her shoulders, her pelvis and the nape of her neck following up along her spine.

Ian’s scent approached without warning.

‘So close.’

Her thin waist, which seemed as if it could be completely grasped by large hands, narrowed its circumference even more. This was why Helena swallowed her breath again.

She wasn’t even a fledgling debutante fresh from her coming-out ball. Yet Helena found herself oddly conscious of Ian’s touch and bit the inside of her lips.

Ian, interpreting that expression in his own way, withdrew his hand that had swept down her waist once and asked:

“I fitted the measurements arbitrarily, but is it alright? If any part is too tight or too loose, I’ll adjust it again, so tell me. The most important thing is that it doesn’t interfere with combat.”

Helena answered while wrapping her waist with both arms, as if trying to preserve the departed sensation.

“My chest feels a bit tight.”

“…Hmm.”

Ian’s gaze settled on Helena’s chest area. It was simply a gaze trying to gauge the width, without any particular intention. Helena knew this too.

But even that felt like a caressing sensation, so Helena tightened her arms around herself even more. It felt as if a knot had formed in her stomach.